Friday, March 14, 2014

How to be Unhappy with Your Church

1. Don’t participate, merely consume.
If I had to say the one thing holding the American church back today, it would be a consumeristic culture. We’ve come to expect that the latest technology comes standard in our cars. Our movie theaters should  have wide rows with extra padded seats and that lean way back.
Unfortunately, we think our church should be no different. Just like the movie theater, we come when the production starts, sit in our seats, are entertained, and think we should leave satisfied when it’s over.

The most unsatisfied in our body,are those who just show up on Sunday’s (sometimes). There is little to no participation in small groups, ministry projects or teaching and serving within the church.  Obviously there are those in most churches who are seekers, or young in the faith that just need to be taken care of for a season, but that should be a temporary state.
2. Criticize your leadership.
I once heard about a couple who didn’t like their pastor because he told stories about his family in the pulpit before beginning his sermons. Quirky? Yeah, kinda. Unbiblical, sinful, illegal, harmful?Definitely not. We’ve really got to understand the difference.
It’s also not fair to compare your pastor to the celebrity pastor on the other side of the country whose book we just read and now believe that every church everywhere should be run like that celebrity pastors church. Remember that celebrity pastor is in a completely different context. He doesn’t know your church, and he also doesn’t come to your home when you have a tragedy or celebrate with you when you have a baby or other joyous life event.
We’re hard on our pastors. Their job is a very public job. One that’s performed in front of an audience (by ‘performed’ & ‘audience’ I just mean that the duties of the job are undertaken in front of a crowd of people). We would do well to remember that our pastors/church leaders are human beings like us, full of quirks and wrestling with sin and struggles just like we do. Instead of seeing our pastors with targets on their backs, we should see them with love and compassion and as people who have dedicated their time to serve the body.
If you have a legitimate concern, approach your leader about it, and don’t talk about him behind this back. Be kind, be loving.
3. Don’t spend time with your church outside of the church building. 
Most of our churches corporate gatherings serve a great purpose. We worship together and we learn together. But most aren’t very conducive to getting to know each other on a deeper level. This isn’t a failure on the part of our leadership, it’s just the nature of a larger gathering. We need these small group gatherings (not just official ‘small groups’, but parties, coffee dates, men’s/women’s nights, etc.). I’ve found that I learn more about a person over 30 minutes of sharing coffee and a donut, than I did attending church with them for several months.
4. Believe that everything should be about you and for you, all the time.
 We need to understand – not everything is about/for us all the time.  Whether it is the music, the sermon topic, the planned approach for the day....  too many Church Members think that this is not for me so why should I participate? Maybe the service wasn’t aimed directly at you,  but even that can teach us something important, because the church that teaches you that everything is about you, all the time, is preaching a very different message than – lay down your lives for each other.
5. Be unhappy with the fact that it isn’t perfect. 
“There is no perfect church, and if you find one, don’t join it because you’ll ruin it.” I don’t know who first said that, but it’s true. All churches are strong in some areas and weak in others. Hopefully churches are always working on those weaknesses, but if we can’t settle for anything less than perfection, then we’re in real trouble.
In his book “Under the Unpredictable Tree,” Eugene Peterson helps pastors be content in the church they are in. Maybe there needs to be a version for church members. In the book Peterson coined the term “Ecclesiastical Pornography.” That is the perfect term to describe the problem that so many people have. We look at the church down the street, or the church in town that’s “doing really well,” or the celebrity pastor’s church and think – “they have it all together” or “they’re doing church right.”
Many people start attending those churches and after the honeymoon period wears off, they find that church has weaknesses of its own. Sadly many people go through life thinking the perfect church is just around the corner, or as many young evangelicals do, they decide that they don’t need church at all and embark on solo-Christianity.
Church is like marriage in a lot of ways. In the beginning it’s fun, and exciting, but eventually the honeymoon comes to an end and it’s work, real work, but we find that the work is rewarding and worthwhile, and it’s work that God meant for us to be doing.

To Serve or Not To Serve....

“It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-28

A little boy went with his daddy to church one day. On their way into the service, the two stopped to admire a memorial plaque the church had just installed for all of the members who had died in the armed forces. The boy asked his father, “Daddy, what are all those names on the wall?” “Well, son, those are all the people who died in the service,” the dad responded.

  The boy took a look at the sanctuary doors and got a very frightened look on his face. “Daddy, did they die in the first service or the second service?”

What does “service” mean? We often use that word to describe our Sunday morning gatherings. But I think you’d agree with me that too many people come to church not to give service, but to be served. They want the music their way. They want the pastor to say everything just right. And they want to leave with a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Our Father is seeking true worshippers… those who will be willing even to give their own lives in His service. And the genuine, committed believer in Christ will see him or herself in just that way. Don’t come to church to be served. Follow Jesus’ example of serving others!


(repost from Jack Graham)