I enjoy reading and laughing at church bulletin bloopers. I came across several new bloopers. At least they are new to me. I hope you enjoy my latest additions to this vital genre of the written language.

• It's Drug Awareness Week: Get involved in drugs before your children do.
• The Sunday night men's Bible study will meet on Saturday at the park, unless it rains. In that case they will meet at their regular Tuesday evening time.
• Illiterate? Write to the church office for help.
• The class on prophecy has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
• (An unfortunate blooper during the pastor's illness) God is good! Dr. Hargreaves is better!
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
• The church office will be closed until opening. It will remain closed after opening. It will reopen Monday.
• Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
• On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of a new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will please come forward to get a piece of paper.
• There is a sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be baptized on the table in the foyer.
• Janet Smith has volunteered to strip and refinish the communion table in the sanctuary.
• The concert held in the fellowship hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the pastor's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.
• Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
• (After the church maintenance man left a note with the church secretary that read “van battery dead,” these words were in the bulletin the next Sunday) Pray for the family of Van Battery who died this week.
• When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.
• Men's prayer breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.

Please feel free to contribute to the list. I love bulletin bloopers!